15 - Washed my hair after school. Mae came over and helped a lot. We sat in the parlor after supper till 9.30. I wonder, if I did "have" Don, would it be less nice than I've imagined it. Perhaps I'm better off as I am. I do know that if Don didn't live up to my dreams, I'd lose all material for said dreams. I would feel so horribly lost without any ideal, and of course an ideal has to have some foundation on some one you know. For all I know, he may not be able to make love at all nicely. "Better hunger than satiety", you know, and it's rather nice to have something to "hunger" about, or for. Such philosophy is very consoling, though rather hackneyed. I might as well be a philosopher as some other brand of dub, if it helps me any.
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